BOC

1. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

2.If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer twice.

3. What do lawyers use for birth control?

Their personalities.

4. How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?

A lawyer has his hands in his own pockets

5.How many lawyer jokes are there?

Just two, all the rest are true.

http://www.lawyer-jokes.us/page/5